Excerpt for Self Discovery & Self Control by , available in its entirety at Smashwords




A Journey for Women

By Ursula Cavanagh



PART ONE: Mind I'm on my way



* What is faith

* What is destiny

* Affirmations



* Setting goals

* Self-confidence


* Calming Down

* Breathing

* Intuition

* Contentment and Memory Call

* Stress

* Meditation





* Flower essences

* Aromatherapy

* Fragrance



PART TWO: Unleash the creativity within




"There are only two ways to live your life.

One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything's a miracle."

-Albert Einstein


The mind, with all its hidden secrets and power, is a fertile place, ready and waiting for the seeds of thought to be planted in its hungry earth and harbored, and nourished continuously with the water of life and wisdom. Negative or positive, the mind eagerly allows the harbored thoughts to grow into powerful proportions, which affect our walk of life, and our destiny as it continues to unleash these powers, which have the ability to create our reality.

Which all means…

The type of life you find yourself living is directly related to how ‘in control’ you are of your mind, the thoughts you harbour and have harboured in the past, the decisions you make, and very importantly, your attitude.

Many of us believe that our life is beyond our control. This is not true.

This journal is not here just to change this belief but rather to help you reach deep down to the very roots of this false perception and remove it. Then it shows you how to nourish and nurture the fertile soil of your mind. It shows you how you can sow new seeds that will - with faith and persistence and over time - grow and blossom into beautiful rejuvenating thoughts. This will ultimately increase, not only your self-control but also your self-confidence, and self-worth, guiding you to bring about positive change.

FACT - The entire universe is made up of energy, waves and particles.

Thoughts and beliefs produced by your mind are also forms of energy and therefore influence everything around you. Whether the influences are positive or negative – that depends on YOU.

Now that you know the power is in your hands - what are you going to do with it?

"I have always regarded myself as the pillar of my life."

-Meryl Streep

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So small to the eye, so veiled yet so close,

Blind to its true power, the mind slows,

Boundless secrets flog the senses,

And shall remain so until the unlocking of defenses.

So great, yet so starved for freedom,

The mind cries out to become a free man.

The secret key is available to all,

To unlock this great source and be there on call.

You can have it all!

What makes this book truly unique is the fact that it is not just a book you can read and then discard in your cupboard. It’s not here to tell you about other people’s experiences or what you are doing wrong. This book is written as an aid to help you discover yourself through your own experiences, and to activate that driven power within yourself that, with faith and persistence, will allow you to go beyond your limitations, beyond your impossible, to a place where your mind, emotions and old belief systems no longer rule you but where you are in control of them. The book's aim is to assist you to reach your goal of self discovery and to help you learn how to draw on the powers of your own mind and intuition. You are the author of your own journal.

Use a blank journal/book and begin to write in it. Start creating your reality - TODAY. Follow the steps, do the exercises and listen to your inner voice that is always there to guide you to the destiny you choose. WHY? Because your decision determines your destiny. Remember, knowledge is valuable, and research is vital to your growth of self-realisation. Listen closely to your heart and mind as they are intricately linked. What are you interested in? What are your desires?

Remember - your interests and dreams are what make you who you are - they are what make you so unique and awesome. YES – YOU ARE AWESOME! So never stop acquiring knowledge. Empower yourself with the knowledge of who you are, for only then can you proceed to mold yourself into who you would like to be. There are no limits. We are creatures of reason – therefore able to change – and for the better. Discover your weaknesses and your strengths. The exercises and techniques in this book should be adjusted to suit your personal needs.

Remember - everyone is a unique individual and it’s your duty to find what works for you!

I have faith that your personal journal, with the aid of this book, will be the key to helping you find yourself, discover your strengths and weaknesses, and gain self-control, all of which will ultimately help you to live a more prosperous and joyful way of life. For in the end, isn’t our ultimate aim - to be happy?


Whenever you have an inspirational thought, write it in your journal. Always listen to your feelings, your intuition; they’re your comforter and your guide. Highlight it in brilliant colours, sprinkle glitter over it if you so wish, dab it with perfume, paste flower petals or pictures around it – do that which makes you truly feel like -

- a woman.

Enjoy it! Have fun! It’s your link to personal power and freedom, and it's your prerogative as -

- a woman.

"Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else."

-Eleanor Roosevelt

"To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance."

-Oscar Wilde


Mind – I’m on my way!


What really helps you in your quest for self-improvement is finding that certain place that is solely yours. A place where you can retreat to whenever you need to do some thinking, planning, and meditating. A place where you will not be disturbed. In this place of solace, you should keep your ‘visual call’ pictures (the term 'callings' I use in my life and thought it appropriate that I use it in this book too, and which will further be discussed later on in this book) or objects that have a ‘call’ on you, like a wooden log and dried flowers; your list of goals; certain paintings etc. It’s a place to keep your sound system and collection of ‘audio call’ material; as well as all the oils or incense that you need, (also described later on in the book) which all have the ability to bring you to the right frame of mind. Find out all your likes and dislikes. Set up your room by listening to your ‘inner callings’, as I call them, and follow them, for they are your inner self, your higher self, and your intuition that connects you to the rest of the universe. (Intuition is discussed further on in the book).

If circumstances prevail that prevent you from having your own ‘place of solace’ at the moment, do not despair, your bedroom will be fine too. You could even pack certain “call” items into a cupboard. Just as long as you are able to retrieve them easily enough when you feel you need to draw upon their certain energies that have a ‘call’ on you. Over time you should discover the abilities these items have which will bring you out of your moment of despair or any other negative emotions you might be feeling at a specific moment in your life by a mere thought. It will instantly draw that energy to you, no matter where you are.


Take in every detail of the items in your place of solace. Really notice everything, the pictures and its finer details, the placement of furniture, the scent, and how each item makes you feel, so that when you are away from home you can still go to your place of solace within your mind and draw upon its endless powers. You should find that it will be just as strong as if you were physically in your place of solace. Our mind is able to transport us into a ‘mindful’ reality, which is almost as real as the physical reality we are in. That is one of the unique powers of our mind. You can even try your hand at sketching. Sketch a picture of your room with all its ‘callings’. You never know – you might just be very good at drawing and you didn’t even know it. After all, this journey is about finding yourself, which includes finding new skills and abilities. So have FUN – set your mind free. Don’t let there be a limitation on your quest for self discovery and creativity. Don’t be afraid to try new things. “Enjoy in joy”, as my father always says. Wear a smile and feel the joy in your heart.


Throughout this book I have a JOT DOWN action where I encourage you to write down all your feelings. Jot down the things you have in your place of solace, or things you would like to place there. Jot down your emotions that each of these items bring out in you, and do a little (or lot) introspection. Try to find out why these specific items have brought out these feelings in you, and jot them down too. Call upon them in your time of need. For instance, perhaps you might realise that your love for a specific flower reminds you of your darling late grandmother, whom you just adored. Cherish that wonderful feeling. Bring it to the surface, especially when you are feeling lonely and afraid. Focus on those powerful feelings, draw upon them, and feel its power nurture you with its love. Keep that flower or a picture of that flower close by to help ignite that feeling at will, whenever needed.

You could even try your hand at sketching. Sketch your place of solace and its furnishings. Include where the door and windows are situated. Put in as many details as possible. This will help when you are away from home, to take your ‘place’ with you, enabling you to enter into your ‘place’ mentally, anywhere and at anytime. Write down any feelings “inner callings”, as I call it (which is also discussed further in the book), intuitions and inspirations that you might have or paste pictures, photos and/or dried flowers on these pages that inspire or move you – anything which has a 'call' on you.

This is the time to begin finding yourself, finding new skills or hidden talents. Write down everything you are feeling, or things you wish to try; your hopes, your dreams - don't leave anything out! Remember - have lots and lots of fun!


What is faith?

"Faith is a sounder guide than reason. Reason can go only so far, but faith has no limits."

-Blaise Pascal

Definition of faith: Trust; complete trust or confidence in something or someone.

Faith can only get stronger and give power if you are positive,

Faith is your guidance from within,

Faith has no limitations and does not allow the word ‘impossible’ to exist.

What is destiny?

"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."

-William Jennings Bryan

Definition of destiny: The power believed to control events; what happens to particular people.

Destiny is the end result of your effort,

Destiny is what lies at the end of the road you choose to walk,

Destiny lies at the end of the decisions you made.

What is the link between faith and destiny?

The link is YOU. It’s your mind and your strength, which lies within you, and which is connected to the universe. It is the knowledge that - accompanied by your deeds - will turn into wisdom. With faith and a clear mental picture of your desires, and by following the guidance of your own intuition, you will find the true link that connects your faith to your desired destiny and spurs it on. The strength of this link is what will help you reach the place you have destined yourself for. Picture yourself as the captain of your ship. You choose where you want to go. You do your homework and then you start to sail. Yes, undoubtedly, there will be storms along the way, but if you have faith and perseverance, you will get there. Choose your crew well. Choose people who believe in you. You can even choose to follow positive role models. Draw upon their powers of encouragement whenever you find the need.

How can you change your destiny?

Well, firstly, it’s presumably safe to say that you want to change your destiny, that’s why you purchased this book, right? So, on that assumption, let’s proceed.

How can you change your destiny?

By changing your understanding, your thoughts, your belief systems, your perceptions, and your attitude - everything that has negatively contributed towards you being where you find yourself today.

According to your faith, be it unto you.

-Matt 9:29

Your decision today, coupled with faith, will determine your destiny tomorrow!

Remember - your destiny is in your hands, the answers you seek is out there – so make a decision where you would like to be, then choose the right road and walk it. The strength of your faith will break down any walls of doubt, clearing your road of any unnecessary obstacles, or the means to overcome them.

Have you had questions that, to this day, you haven’t found answers for? Are you perhaps searching for something, but you cannot grasp what that something is, or you cannot understand it and therefore cannot even dream of asking others to help you find the answers you seek? Frustrating right? Yes, but don’t become despondent - the answers are out there. It may just be that you lack a little confidence, or that you’ve been searching in all the wrong places, or even perhaps that you were asking or relying on the wrong people to help you. There is a place where these answers are waiting to be drawn upon, and that place is... within yourself.

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."

-Helen Keller

Believe in yourself, listen to your intuition, feed your faith DAILY and LIVE!

Steps to improving your faith:

1. Start by knowing what you want.

Remember - the moment you know what you want out of life, remind yourself that you deserve the best, and begin to walk the path to achieving it, then - with faith and perseverance - you should begin to notice the following:

  • ways and means of attaining your desire will immediately begin to reveal themselves unto you;

  • doors filled with opportunities will open up for you;

  • co-operation of others will become available to you;

  • your fears and doubts will begin to fade, and your faith will begin to grow;

  • your self-confidence will increase.

2. Visualisation can become realisation.

Pray and visualise yourself already in possession of the object / goal you desire.

"...What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them and ye shall have them." -Mark 11:24

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Three men struggle along an uneven walkway,

Carefully balancing the mirror to perfectly lay.

Almost reaching their destination of their fragile burden,

The mirror slips and falls, fear forms like red hot molten.

The first man’s belief in the ‘seven years bad luck’ rang true,

And as the years passed, his misfortune grew.

Because of the second man’s ignorance of this superstitious fallacy,

There was no effect on his life, and it continued normally.

Wisely, the third man turned the fallacy into a positive belief,

And visualised money rolling in, and for seven years, success he did achieve.


Definition of affirmations: - to declare something to be true.

Using affirmations is a way to recondition your mind. Your subconscious mind does not know whether a fact is true or not, it believes what you say and think, it listens to your emotions, and then stores it. By affirming something in your mind repeatedly, you are reconditioning your old beliefs.

For example:

Perhaps you lack self-confidence, so you could create the following affirmation to recondition and replace that negative stored version of your belief with the following affirmation in order to create a newer, more confident you:

"I am confident. I am ready to take on the world. I feel the power within me soar."

The power of an affirmation is strengthened by repetition and emotion. Draw upon a memory with loads of positive emotions while repeating your affirmations. If you are a person who rarely feels excited but it’s your desire to feel more excited, create an affirmation such as:

I love life, everything about life excites me, life is truly a miracle.”

Then remember back to a time when you did experience excitement in your life. Bring the emotion of that memory to the front, and douse your affirmation with the emotion of that memory. This will, in time, condition your mind to believing the affirmation or statement as true, and you should start to feel excited about even the smallest, simplest things in life. This alone, is a truly magnificent step to self-fulfillment.

"Affirmations are a powerful antidote for self-hate, which commonly appears under the mask of self-doubt."

-Julia Cameron


Now in your journal - create your own affirmations and don't forget to repeat them. They are truly a powerful technique.


Do you remember when, as a child, how easily you became excited about almost anything? I know when I was young, I simply loved the sea. Everything back then was multiplied - from the scent of the sea, to the effect the waves had on me, even the delicious, sweet smell of candy floss which was sold at the beach-front cafe. To put it simply, back then my spirit was wide awake – it was alive.

Sadly, I realised that as I grew older, and when visiting the coast, I hardly noticed those sensations and intense emotions that used to flow over, around and within me. I hardly smelt the scent of the sea I used to love so much, or the waves rolling over my feet. They hardly had any effect on me at all. I realised, my spirit of joy had become dormant. My mind, when younger, was focused on the wonders around me, but as I grew older, it became polluted with daily stresses of life and numerous fears. As the years passed I had allowed the beauty and wonders of life to slip by me, unnoticed. This realisation made me stop and think. How much of life are we actually missing because we are so pre-occupied by daily routines and stresses of life? Are we drowning in the pressures of life, allowing it to rob us of our life?

Re-awaken your spirit of love and excitement for life, and become richer and merrier for it. Here is the repeated quotation which really is what this journey is all about. Don’t just read it; let these wise words become a part of who you are.

"There are only two ways to live your life.

One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything's a miracle."

-Albert Einstein

Poem Library


I woke up late, stirred salt in my coffee,

Was far from early at work, you see,

Yet, I’m happy!

My boss threw a warning glance at me,

My computer had a virus, losing a month’s work or three,

Yet, I’m happy!

At lunch I left for a bite to eat.

On my way back, I tripped and did the pavement greet,

Yet, I’m happy!

To catch up on my work was no mean feat,

And many hours it took for the demands to meet,

Yet, I’m happy!

I arrived home late, what a beat!

However, I refused to feel defeat,

And so, I remain happy!

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(Pages 1-17 show above.)